Today, a little punk Mexican next to me assaulted me and we came to blows. From the moment we stepped in we were greeted by a slew of beautiful women who were ready to give us sexual pleasures, and we almost couldn't refuse. Well, lemmee tell you, firstly, that the drive to a Nevada brothel is a lonely one--especially at night. So we hung out at the bar, had a few drinks, and talked with the ladies for a bit. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing at some of the 'menu items.
When you arrive they do their line up thing, say their name and you have to pick one that shows you her room. At that time the line up had maybe ten girls. I choose the easy way out and headed to the bar. Picking her, she gave me a tour of the legendary facilities, and referenced the Great One, Hof, a lot. Good luck Oh and they're all tested monthly so that's good Stay away from this place, they're scam artists. However I do have a couple tips for those visiting. Rejecting someone ain't my thing, and, really, having sex with all of them would be a great way to blow a lot of money. A bevy of babes arrived, looking expectantly at me. I paid, we started, then 15 minutes later she stops and says "your times up unless you want to tip me". Then we headed back to her room, where she gave me another tour and we discussed prices. We went on some terrific rides, ate some fine barbeque, hit up a card room or two and, of course, stopped by the Moonlight Bunny Ranch. Why anyone would come from around the would amuses me. Here for the Cat House Poker Run, so the owner knows there will be a couple hundred people coming thru, but he has an unfriendly dog in the entry way who is snapping at people. The girls aren't allowed to proposition customers in the bar area - they had to be invited back to their rooms by the potential client. Don't make these whores and Dennis Hof rich! So you can have a conversation with some that exceeds negotiating a price. Oh and make sure you make it clear if it's a time exchange or if you get off once then your done - it may take you less than an hour Aside, from that it was a really great experience. Now it's negotiations - this can be a little awkward if you've never negotiated a blow job or straight sex or anal. The only thing I thought was kinda tacky was the girls in the lounge area on their laptops and stuff. I kind of threw up in my mouth. This is when I learned the first truth about real life prostitutes - they're not nearly as attractive as they are in the movies. Save your money gents. Which is how I found myself in a hooker's bedroom, listening to her rattle off sexual favors and prices like today's specials at Applebees. The saving grace was the lady that took us on the tour. After being there for nearly a half hour, curiosity finally got to me and I asked one of the gals at the bar how much she charged.
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Inside Nevada’s Moonlite Bunny Ranch
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