If you have emotionally drifted apart from each other, then you both need to do serious work to bridge the gap between you. Unfortunately, that does not work, and both parties end up suffering. If you are not willing to live with this prospect, then it is time to take action. Depending on how she was raised, being gay may not have been an option for her. These are not in any particular order, they are just reasons I have run into in my practice. You will also need couples therapy to learn how to provide a safe environment for her in which she can feel intimate. Does she drink a lot or smoke marijuana? Basically, in your case, this would mean that your wife, for whatever reason, is done with the marriage, but does not know how to leave it. Aside from sex and intimacy, how do the two of you get along?
I suspect this is of high probability in your case, because of the infrequency of sexual activity and intimacy that you described in your past with her. Think about whether she ever found you sexually attractive. These are not in any particular order, they are just reasons I have run into in my practice. This is a tough issue to work with, and my heart goes out to you. If this is the case, then you have a right to know and then you have to make some tough decisions. There are some health problems that can cause a woman to feel uncomfortable during sex. You have already waited three years. One of the very common symptoms of depression or other forms of mental health issues is loss of libido, or a lack of sex drive. Ask your wife if this is the case, and arrange and appointment with a gynecologist to talk about how to address these health problems. This can range from childhood molestation, bullying in a sexual way, having had an abusive partner in the past, to sexual harassment. If you look at your past and you can remember a time that she found you sexually desirable, then think about how you have changed since then, and what you can do to restore yourself back to the object of her desire. It is really important for you to evaluate your marriage and your reasons why you are staying in it. For each reason, I am recommending how to proceed. Has she been having a hard time? I wonder where she is getting her sexual needs met if she is not intimate with you. Her value system is against sex. If this is even remotely true in your case, then I highly recommend you get personal therapy and find out why you allow yourself to be emotionally and physically neglected by your spouse. Do you ever set aside time for just the two of you to talk and reconnect? I just want her. She says intimacy is not worth it to her. She wants a divorce and is pushing you towards it. Is your patience endless? Do you feel attractive and worthy of love? If you decide on this, it needs to be a mutual agreement between the two of you. I know many people who get married to the opposite sex in order to overcome their homosexuality.
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