Eric Rechsteiner Ai Aoyama is a sex and relationship counsellor who works out of her narrow three-storey home on a Tokyo back street. They flinch if I touch them," she says. After that, I lost interest in dating. Satoru Kishino, 31, belongs to a large tribe of men under 40 who are engaging in a kind of passive rebellion against traditional Japanese masculinity. Back then, about 15 years ago, she was Queen Ai, or Queen Love, and she did "all the usual things" like tying people up and dripping hot wax on their nipples. I asked the association's head, Kunio Kitamura, why. Japan's somethings are the age group to watch.
They don't believe it can lead anywhere," says Aoyama. Her first name means "love" in Japanese, and is a keepsake from her earlier days as a professional dominatrix. A fluent French speaker with two university degrees, she avoids romantic attachments so she can focus on work. And that's from a woman who knows a bit about whipping. The World Economic Forum consistently ranks Japan as one of the world's worst nations for gender equality at work. Japan's unders appear to be losing interest in conventional relationships. Keen to see her nation thrive, she likens her role in these cases to that of the Edo period courtesans, or oiran , who used to initiate samurai sons into the art of erotic pleasure. Japan already has one of the world's lowest birth rates. Married working women are sometimes demonised as oniyome, or "devil wives". Some experts believe the flight from marriage is not merely a rejection of outdated norms and gender roles. Her work today, she says, is far more challenging. More than a quarter of men felt the same way. Aoyama's first task with most of her clients is encouraging them "to stop apologising for their own physical existence". The lead character in Otomen "Girly Men" was a tall martial arts champion, the king of tough-guy cool. I love my independence. Its smart phone apps are the world's most imaginative. Social attitudes don't help. And the centuries-old belief that the purpose of marriage is to produce children endures. He defines it as "a heterosexual man for whom relationships and sex are unimportant". It's the word I hear both sexes use most often when they talk about their relationship phobia. Although Japan is sexually permissive, the current fantasy ideal for women under 25 is impossibly cute and virginal. More than a quarter of men feel the same way. I go out with my girl friends — career women like me — to French and Italian restaurants. Secretly, he loved baking cakes, collecting "pink sparkly things" and knitting clothes for his stuffed animals. Most are still too young to have concrete future plans, but projections for them are already laid out. I asked the association's head, Kunio Kitamura, why. In her business pamphlet, she offers up the gloriously random confidence that she visited North Korea in the s and squeezed the testicles of a top army general.
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